Presentation Feedback

Dear Group members,
Please review my presentation and use the critique sheet Dr. Archibald has provided to give me feedback so that I can improve the presentation.

Conference Notes

When I went into my conference with Dr. Archibald I went in with the idea that I was going to talk about how criminals have out smarted the police over the years.  Now coming out of my conference I realized with the help of Dr. Archibald that I need to change my thesis because I am not getting my point across that I want.  So during the conference I changed my thesis to a two prong idea to look at how criminals are perceived and how they are prosecuted.  I am then going to use this and look at how the media influences this.  So now I have to go back and look for more information pertaining to the evidence that media plays on criminals.  After doing this change I think that my paper is going to be better than ever and I am excited to finish writing it

Sources for the 3resProj

After learning about the new way to search for sources on google it has made the process so much easier.  The sources that I found that I will be using for my paper are all under four different caategories and those are technology, media, Tv shows/movies, and past stories.  The first thing mthat I did was search for atleast two good sources for each category and one so so source for each category.  Then I started my apper and worked in my good sources that I knew I could do something with and I saved my so so sources for later to go back in and work with if I still needed them.  Some sources are more important than others because some of greater information and are more useful throughout the paper than others.

Conference notes

When I went in to my conference I knew that I wanted to do my research paper on criminals and law and what role technology plays on that.  Dr. Archibald had some great ideas to help out my topic and make it more concise.  He said that I should see how the criminal has progressed so far that they have out maneuvered the police officers over the years.  He said that I should also look at how TV shows, like CSI, have played a role in this as well.  I now plan to go back and reword my thesis to have it cater about what we talked about and the new ideas that we discussed.

ResProj paper ideas

"focus on the fact that these men were everyday normal people that you wouldn’t expect to be reading about as serial killers and they got away with a lot of their crimes  because of their charm and good looks."

 -For this quote I can evaluate and look at why charming and good looking people get away with so much more than others and if this is a big factor when looking at serial killers.

"The way that we deal with serial killers has also changed.  Back in the 19th century they didn’t have the technology that we have today so it was harder for them to catch them.  Like all the different DNA equipment that they have in labs that can cut down on time and find the person faster."

-For this quote I can examine why this advancement made such a big impact and how it has helped us today.

 After reading these quotes from my 2Syn paper what do you think about these topic ideas? Do you understand what I am getting at? Which one sounds best to use for the 3ResProj? Why?

integrating sources

Example #1:
Serial killers from different centuries can be similar in many ways as H.H. Holmes illustrates in the 19th century:

Holmes and Ted Bundy are the two serial killers that can be linked together.  H.H. Holmes is from the 19th century and Bundy is from the 20th.  They both have common links between them like "having no motive when killing his victims."(Chicago Tribune)

Even though these guys are from different times they still have similarities when it comes to being serial killers.  This is why the idea of the serial killer hasn’t changed over time.

Example #2:

As People magazine points out " he was a son any mother would be proud to call her own.”  This is one of the reasons why it was so easy for both Bundy and Holmes to get victims because of their charm. 

Work Cited

 “The Chicago Tribune.” Fold3. 18 Aug. 1895. Library Resources. Web. 17 Sep. 2011

McCall, Cheryl. "Did he kill 18 women? Or has he been framed?" People 7 Jan. 1980.

First paragraph of my 2Syn paper

You might think of a serial killer as a lot of things crazy, disturbing maybe even horrifying, but you would never say innocent about one would you?  That is what happened when it came to serial killer Ted Bundy.  Up until the day that he was executed friends, family, and strangers all around the world thought of Ted Bundy as an innocent man not a serial killer.   An example of people believing he is innocent is the article done in People magazine that asks questions that got people thinking did he really kill all those women?

After reading this first paragraph what do you think my paper is about?

What is a synthesis?

Synthesis means putting your ideas from many sources together in an essay.  When writing a synthesis paper you should first put your ideas together that you are going to talk about in your essay.  Then you have to look at all your information and put some of your information around one theme or question.  Then you have to present your information in a way that supports your argument that you are going to write about.  A synthesis is also not a summary, it’s about the integration of what you have learned, read, and heard about your topic.

One of the first things that you have to do when writing a synthesis paper is that you need a thesis.  The next step you need to do is summarize your articles or any other source of information.  Try to make sure and put some real world examples in your paper that support your topic.  In the conclusion you should summarize your thesis and outline some questions that you will then answer.

When I synthesize my paper I will summarize my newest article on Ted Bundy.  I will talk about how in the article it talks about how he could be innocent.  I will then use some of the examples that were in the article to support why he could be innocent.  Next I will talk about the similarities between Holmes and Bundy.  Then I will talk about the differences between both Bundy and Holmes.  After that is done I will do my synthesis part of my paper.  In this part I will ask one question then answer it using my old document on Holmes.  Then I will answer it using the new article on Bundy.  After answering the question I will explain why it applies to my topic and how it is related.        

http://archives.evergreen.edu/webpages/curricular/2001-2002/poliecon2001/synthesis.htm

Insights from reading the new document

From reading the new document about Ted Bundy I have learned a lot of different things.  One thing that I learned is that they are different in many ways.  First off Ted Bundy and H.H. Holmes were brought up in two very different ways.  Ted had a normal upbringing with a family that loved him and took care of him, but Holmes did not have a normal upbringing.  Also the way the articles were set up was completely different as well.  In Holmes’ article it talked about the place where he killed people and what was inside this place.  In Bundy’s article it talked about how people taught that he was still innocent and if he really did kill all those women.  Another big difference was the fact that Holmes got away with a lot more murders than Bundy and that maybe because of the time period.

These articles and both Holmes and Bundy are also both very similar as well.  For one both Holmes and Bundy killed mainly young women.  They also both have killed people in multiple states, and have death totals in the double digits.  They also both were sentenced to be killed for the murders that they have committed.  Also both Holmes and Bundy did have sexual relations with their female victims.  They both had a lot of attention from the media on them as being big serial killers. 

I have learned a lot from reading these different articles.  Like for example that they are written in different ways to go with the time era that the serial killer came from.  For example in Holmes’ time it was written in a newspaper article, but for Ted Bundy it was written in People magazine.  This is because the times have changed and in order for more people to find out about Bundy especially the younger people they have to gear towards them like People magazine.     

Revising the 1Report assignment

What I need to do to revise my paper is talk more about the article.  I need to also state my article in my introduction paragraph.  I did not do this in my first paper and that is one of the reasons that I need to redo it.  Also I need to use more quotes from my article and put them into my paper.  I did not have any quotes or citations in my first draft and I definitely need to put them in the final.  Another thing that I need to do with the article is summarize it better.  I did not do such a good job at that the first time I wrote more of a biography then a report.

Speaking of the report I need to do my source section better.  I did not really understand that part of the paper at first.  Now I feel like I understand what I need to do in that section.  Going to the chryst writing center really helped me with my paper and understanding it better.  In the section about sources I now know that I need to talk more about what life would be like for a person back in 1893.  Also what would life be like back then for Holmes, and why it was easy for him to murder all those people without anyone finding out? 

In the section about linking him to serial killers now and in his time I definitely need to improve on.  I did not have that in my first draft and will definitely need to add that to my final copy.  Besides all that I just need to simplify my ideas and not be all over the place in the final copy of my paper about Holmes.  I also need to keep in mind that it is not a biography it is a report.       

They Say/ I Say--response 1

According to David Zinczenko’s “Don’t Blame the Eater” there are no alternatives to inexpensive fast food restaurants.  But I have to say that there are alternatives that aren’t that expensive and are better for you then fast food restaurants.  An example of one is Subway it is a sandwich shop that prides itself on being better than any fast food restaurant.  They show you on every napkin their foods calorie intake compared to that of McDonald’s and Burger King’s calorie intake.  You can also make yourself your own food that would have fewer calories than any fast food restaurant.  You can also opt for more vegetables and fruits when you go out.

Is being overweight a genuine medical problem rather than a problem of cultural stereotypes.  I think it all depends on the case that you are dealing with.  In some cases it is a medical problem that they can’t help that they gain weight and that it is also hereditary.  But then there are the cases that are stereotypical.  Because the person eats so unhealthy that they become overweight then do not want to take responsibility for it.  So instead they blame the fast food industry that they are the reasons that they are overweight.  Instead of blaming the fast food industry they should be the ones saying I eat here to frequently and maybe I should cut back on it and go for something that is healthier for me.

Even though these two topics are from the same article they are very different in their response.  One talks about eating healthier and the other talks about people who are overweight and if it’s a problem or stereotypical.  Although they are different they do have some similarities.  Like for instance they both have fast food as their main topic also they both have a strong opinion with them.      

#1 blog post

My topic is about crime and punishment and the person that I am focusing on is Dr. Henry Howard Holmes or H.H. Holmes.  He was one of the first documented serial killers in Chicago in 1893.  H.H. Holmes also went by many aliases which is one of the reasons he wasn’t caught right away. He also opened up a hotel which he designed and built with the idea of using it for murdering people.  When he was caught he confessed to twenty seven murders but the body count could be as high as two hundred bodies.  In its time this case was notorious because it received so much publicity from the newspapers.

I choose the topic of crime and punishment because it was the topic that drew my attention the most.  I was fascinated and intrigued with the idea of serial killers.  I wanted to be able to get inside their head and see why they decide to kill people.  Also what makes them want to keep on killing more people after the first one.   Another reason why I choose this topic was to see what the punishment was for serial killers in the 1800’s compared to the punishment of serial killers now days.  I also want to look at how his life style was as a serial killer in the 1800’s.

To locate information on my topic I started with goggling H.H. Holmes then I read some of the articles that showed up.  Then I went on to the library search site to find some more articles on H.H. Holmes and at that site I could also get my sources in mla format.  The library site is a very good site and I have found a lot of interesting information from it so far that will help with writing my paper.